Who does an illegal U-turn without checking to see if a cruiser is directly behind you? ME! Within seconds of the turn, the flashing lights go on and the siren blasts. Sitting in the car with my head down, I begin to whisper, “Oh, sh$t, oh sh$t.” It was a given I was going to be ticketed especially when he pulls up my record. There is still a ticket on the books when I passed a cruiser twice in a construction zone. When I look up, a big bald burly officer with a grimace on his face is staring at me. 
He speaks curtly. “Why would you make a U- turn when two big signs, directly in front of you, have bold red lines through them?” 
“Stupid officer, just plain stupid. I have no other excuse.” I reach into my purse and pull out one of my “Big Red” business cards that I just put in my wallet this morning. Business cards I didn’t want to purchase until my publisher convinced me it would be worth the expense. I give him a weak smile, hand him the card and say, “Here, if you don’t believe me go to my website, check out my book, and read how stupid I can be.”
He takes the card, looks at the picture and begins to laugh. Puts out his hand to shake mine and says, “No ticket for you today. Drive careful, have a nice day and good luck with the book!